Here are four reasons to quit porn followed by some “how to” strategies for quitting.
1. It dishonors God.
This is the most important reason. Every decision in life is to be filtered through the idea of what God wants and doesn’t want. Someone might say, “The Bible doesn’t address pornography; it wasn’t invented at the time the Bible was written.” However, I would imagine even that person knows they are making a lame excuse. There is no way that the Lord who said, “Everyone who looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart” would be fine with modern-day porn. It’s even worse than what Jesus was warning about then (Matthew 5:28.)
2. It deforms you.
Just like eating more food than your body was designed for will deform it over time, so does the consuming of sexual thoughts/sights/activities that your soul wasn’t designed for. (I’m using the word “soul” here to mean what the Apostle Paul was talking about when he used the term “inner man” in places like 2 Corinthians 4:16, Romans 7:22-23, and Ephesians 3:16.)
A body (the outer man) with the wrong diet becomes a shape that it shouldn’t be, and a soul (inner man) with the wrong spiritual diet becomes a shape that it shouldn’t be. Porn can cause a lack of sensitivity that is detrimental to your spiritual health.
A body (the outer man) with the wrong diet becomes a shape that it shouldn’t be, and a soul (inner man) with the wrong spiritual diet becomes a shape that it shouldn’t be. Porn can cause a lack of sensitivity that is detrimental to your spiritual health.
3. It negatively affects marriage.
In addition to causing a lack of sensitivity in your spiritual life, porn can cause a lack of sensitivity that is detrimental to your marriage/sex life. Porn can cause resentment in marriage (if your life isn’t like what you see elsewhere.) It can cause you to think of your spouse (and others) more like an object than a person (which, of course, hinders relationship.) It can train your brain to be turned on by things that aren’t a part of your real life, which then hinders your real sex life from being the satisfaction that it ought to be. Porn can make a spouse insecure if they believe they are competing with 1,000 other people on the internet. Porn can even lead to adultery (because it’s much easier to partake in a behavior that you’ve fantasized and gloried in first) and divorce.
4. It can derail you from God’s mission on this earth.
It seems to me this one is rarely talked about, so I’ll spend extra words on it.
There are many times when Christians do not sign up for a particular kind of ministry because of a hidden sin in their life. For instance, a drunkard (picture someone who abuses alcohol regularly but her friends at church don’t know) may be hesitant to volunteer to be a Sunday school teacher even though she is a gifted teacher and the church needs her help, because she would feel like a hypocrite in doing so. Similarly, a compulsive gambler might not sign up to be a small group leader because he’s worried what it would mean to be a public role-model with a hidden life. And in one sense, this impulse is good. Shame is real, and it weighs heavy on someone who is caught in habitual sin. And hypocrisy is terrible; people shouldn’t be teaching one thing and then living another. But, the solution isn’t to just settle for not serving God! The solution is to repent of the sin and then serve God without hypocrisy.
Imagine three different futures for yourself:
There are many times when Christians do not sign up for a particular kind of ministry because of a hidden sin in their life. For instance, a drunkard (picture someone who abuses alcohol regularly but her friends at church don’t know) may be hesitant to volunteer to be a Sunday school teacher even though she is a gifted teacher and the church needs her help, because she would feel like a hypocrite in doing so. Similarly, a compulsive gambler might not sign up to be a small group leader because he’s worried what it would mean to be a public role-model with a hidden life. And in one sense, this impulse is good. Shame is real, and it weighs heavy on someone who is caught in habitual sin. And hypocrisy is terrible; people shouldn’t be teaching one thing and then living another. But, the solution isn’t to just settle for not serving God! The solution is to repent of the sin and then serve God without hypocrisy.
Imagine three different futures for yourself:
- Serving God while indulging in habitual hidden sin. This life is like a ticking time bomb. For many people, it’s only a matter of time before your private life becomes publicized and it derails your ministry. And when it does, it may damage the spiritual lives of many people who you served and who looked up to you.
- Not Serving God while indulging in habitual hidden sin. This life is technically better because much of the hypocrisy element is removed; there is no shocking revelation like “my youth group leader ended up cheating on their spouse” or that kind of thing. However, it’s still not honoring God. It’s not using your life for Him the way He has called you. Think of all of the people over the next 20 years who may need your ministry, but won’t get it because you stayed home and stared at your phone all night “not being a hypocrite.” It may be that there were hundreds of people who needed you, but were left to fend for themselves.
- Serving God while repenting/fighting against sin. This is the ordinary Christian life. And we don’t have a lot of time to waste. Considering that we only have a few short years on this earth and then an eternity before us, we shouldn’t be spending years of our life not on the mission. God has a job for you to do, and it has an expiration date. Don’t trade a life that matters (living for the mission of God) for images of naked people that you don’t know. It’s a terrible trade. Deep inside you know this to be true. For the sake of the God that you serve, and the next hundred people that He will call you to serve, quit porn now.
OK, HOW?
Let’s say something that was said above motivated you to want to quit porn. How do you do it?
Well, in one sense, it’s simple: stop. Don’t watch it anymore. Ditch your home computer or switch back to a flip phone if that’s what it takes. Now, that’s easy to say and hard to do (especially for some occupations.) So, I’m including two other strategies that I’m aware of that have also been helpful to people:
A) The low-tech option: Join an accountability group and have a trusted friend (or three) ask you about this on a regular basis. This can be done more officially through a Good News accountability group, or more unofficially (where you call or meet with a friend or two regularly.) For either option, the way it works is that someone asks you (typically once a week is good; but it can be more or less often depending on the severity of the addiction) about this issue and you answer their question honestly. The accountability helps during the times you aren’t meeting. Because when you are tempted to search up something you shouldn’t, you may think to yourself, “Uh oh, they are gonna’ ask me about this. I’ll have to confess this on Wednesday morning. I don’t want to do that. I want to tell them that I didn’t look at anything that I shouldn’t.” A lot of time that extra boost of accountability helps a person get back on a better path.
B) The high-tech option: Use a product like Covenant Eyes (Note: I’m not trying to hawk a particular product. I’m sure there are other options, but this one is one of the more well-known ones.) My point is that you can download things to your phone/computer that filter out mature content and/or email an accountability partner the list of websites that you visited. Additionally, you can set up your phone to not allow certain activities (ie: like parental controls) and simply have a trusted friend choose and keep the password away from you until you need it for something legitimate.
But here’s the thing, none of these options work without honesty and a real God-given desire to quit. For instance, anyone can choose the low-tech option and then lie to their friends every week; that will accomplish nothing. Additionally, anyone can sign up for filtering, or accountability software, or parental controls, and then find a work-around (ie: using another method, another device, etc.) So, a real desire to be honest and righteous is essential. And if you need motivation to do that, feel free to re-read the four reasons given in the first half of this article.
Well, in one sense, it’s simple: stop. Don’t watch it anymore. Ditch your home computer or switch back to a flip phone if that’s what it takes. Now, that’s easy to say and hard to do (especially for some occupations.) So, I’m including two other strategies that I’m aware of that have also been helpful to people:
A) The low-tech option: Join an accountability group and have a trusted friend (or three) ask you about this on a regular basis. This can be done more officially through a Good News accountability group, or more unofficially (where you call or meet with a friend or two regularly.) For either option, the way it works is that someone asks you (typically once a week is good; but it can be more or less often depending on the severity of the addiction) about this issue and you answer their question honestly. The accountability helps during the times you aren’t meeting. Because when you are tempted to search up something you shouldn’t, you may think to yourself, “Uh oh, they are gonna’ ask me about this. I’ll have to confess this on Wednesday morning. I don’t want to do that. I want to tell them that I didn’t look at anything that I shouldn’t.” A lot of time that extra boost of accountability helps a person get back on a better path.
B) The high-tech option: Use a product like Covenant Eyes (Note: I’m not trying to hawk a particular product. I’m sure there are other options, but this one is one of the more well-known ones.) My point is that you can download things to your phone/computer that filter out mature content and/or email an accountability partner the list of websites that you visited. Additionally, you can set up your phone to not allow certain activities (ie: like parental controls) and simply have a trusted friend choose and keep the password away from you until you need it for something legitimate.
But here’s the thing, none of these options work without honesty and a real God-given desire to quit. For instance, anyone can choose the low-tech option and then lie to their friends every week; that will accomplish nothing. Additionally, anyone can sign up for filtering, or accountability software, or parental controls, and then find a work-around (ie: using another method, another device, etc.) So, a real desire to be honest and righteous is essential. And if you need motivation to do that, feel free to re-read the four reasons given in the first half of this article.
